Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day to all of you daddies out there, especially my wonderful daddy & amazing husband! I'm so blessed to have such wonderful men in life and I wouldn't be the person I am today without them! I wish I could see them but I won't be seeing either of them today :( I'm having lunch with my daddy tomorrow though, I haven't seen him in about a month so I'm overly excited!!

God bless!

A little too spontaneous!

So last night, I took a big leap of faith, had my hairdresser do a house call, and made a DRASTIC physical change! If you know me, you know my hair is my security blanket, and I'm sensitive about it and usually don't make very noticable changes, if any at all!

Well, I wanted change, I wanted something different. And I've heard that changing your hair usually helps you move into the next chapter.. just what I've heard. So I wanted that, I told my hairdresser brown & short and as long as it was in those guidelines, I could handle it. Well, he took full advantage of it.. and I LOVE IT!!! I've never been a short hair person, but I'm getting used to it and loving it more & more everyday minute!

;)

So I'm gonna bitch a little...

Another long day without Travis here... this deployment gets more & more real everyday.. I guess I love to torture myself, I've been watching army movies all evening & I'm crying like a little baby.. Idk what I'm going to do without him.. I'm not trying to sound bitchy, but I can't help but roll my eyes when I hear another girl say she hasn't seen her man, or he doesn't spend enough time with her, or someone is "depressed" over a break-up.. I'm sorry but I won't have him here for over a year, & I don't have the option to lay in bed & cry about it. I have to pick up & be strong for our family,, & not to mention Candace, she walks around all day saying "dada, dada, dada" it breaks my heart to know how much he's gonna miss. She's gonna have no idea who he is the next time she sees him after he leaves, if she ever WILL see him again,, I have to go to sleep every night knowing that August 11th could be the last time I ever see my husband again. Maybe I'm being dramatic, but these are the thoughts that run through my mind on a daily basis & his deployment hasn't even gotten here yet! I know I'm preachin' to the choir here, I just wish I could cope with these feelings better.. I guess that's why I started this damn thing in the first place; to vent. Well, I'm puttin' it to good use!

I went to the dr today for a check up & she told me she felt my anxiety soon as she walked.. SHE SENSED MY STRESS.. How sad. She prescribed me an anti-depression/anxiety medication. I don't wanna be that person! The one who needs a "happy pill" to carry on with my day! I told her I didn't need it, she said to take it a couple weeks then come back and tell her how I'm feeling.. Until then I'll cross my fingers I keep my sanity...

Tomorrow

Well, It's gonna be an early morning.. Going to the dr for MYSELF in what must be a year? Anyway, it's just a check up, blood tests, the whole nine, just to make sure I'm still working properly :)

It's been so long since I've been to a physician, not a pediatrician, I'm getting myself all nervous. Dumb, I know, but I can't help but have anxiety like a little kid about to get poked with some needles! I'm sure everything's just the way it should be.. Let's pray it is!

Now it's bedtime for mama! Goodnight, God bless!

Well today..

This upcoming deployment is getting more & more real everyday. I'm trying to come to terms with it, but I haven't been very successful.. My anxiety is through the roof & my stress level is pretty up there too. I just wish I had someone, going through the same thing, to tell me it's ok. Someone to talk to, who can relate.. It's just alot to handle and I don't know the right way to deal with it. I'm hoping I'm overreacting about it all

Weekend!

Another week down without Travis here! It's Saturday and I'm having a much needed GIRL'S DAY with my lovelies! Gonna have a hair party in a couple hours then sit at the pool seriously ALL day.. I hope everyone's day is a great one! God bless!

I'm new to this!

My first blog! WOO!

I've never been a "blogger" before, but with the hubs about to deploy I found myself with all these feelings, thoughts, and emotions building up inside with no way to express them, or anyone to express them too! Or anyone who would understand at least.. So I decided to start me a blog! And I love it so far!

Anyways, Travis is still PMTing and will be till the end of the month, then 6 wks after he gets home, he's off to Afghanastan! This will be our first deployment & I'm not sure what to expect! I don't live on a military base so I don't have regular contact with other military wives, so I'll be on here quite a bit over the next year and a halfish!

Meanwhile, it's 1:30 in the morning and I gotta get to bed.. I have a little alarm clock with no snooze button & she's always on time! ;)
Goodnight!